do you now those people who manage to change and you dont notice until they stop talking to you? that happend to me and a girl who used to be my bestfriend... i dont want to name names so ill just call her "A". we have been friends for the losngest time and when we were little we were both kinda chubby but in about grade 6 she shot up and lost all that weight. from grade 6 on she has been miss popularity and doesnt bother to talk to me any more because she is smaller than me... see for her she just hit puberty and for me i have to work at it like its a chore and i hate it! im constintly trying new work out plans and diets which i shouldnt be doing at my age i shouldnt be worrying about this stuff i should be having fun with my life and the people in it. but i cant not looking like i do. i really hope that my new years resolutions works becaus not once in my life have i ever worn a bikini. ive never gone for what i want in a store i go buy whats based on my size. now i know because of my height i wont ever be a small but i hate being a large i at least want to drop to a medium! this has been a struggle most of my life and i dont want to carry it on to my adult hood i want to live my life not worrying about my size just worrying about who i am emotionally and spiritually.. not physically!

i really hope that by the second semester i have a ton more friends who will try to make plans with me and i wont have to put in all the work..i also hope that i get fitter/ skinnier so that someone will actually find interest in me!:) but to be honest i have alot of friends but i just want more i want to do what monicaa and brooke do to me.. i ask them is they want to hagout and if i dont make plans with them like a week ahead i get stuck doing nothing!:(

the first day of 2013 for me has been great i slept in until 1:00 and i started my new years resolution of getting more fit!:) i did the"Jillian Micheals 30 day shred" with my mom which was a satisfactory work out but after i came up stairs and got a drink but i felt as though i hadnt done enough, my body didnt feel worked at all. So i grabbed the wii remote and turned on just dance then put it to JUST SWEAT! and thats what i did for 12 minutes i feel as though i have worked my body and it made me feel like i was on the right path and ready to change my ways!:)

worst new years ever... way to start the new year eh? so if your wondering why i had a bad new years t cuz the person i was spending it with decided to completely shut me out. She was facetimig her boyfriend and then stopped talking to me and was all about him and how they werent able to spend new years together and i got really angry but luckily my friend wade texted me before i got to angry.. every time i went in the same room as brooke and the ipad she got up and left.. how do you think that made me feel. Any way my moms futile atempt to cheer me up with food sort of worked but i will probably be amd a her for a while and when he gets back i will NOT hangout with them together. Especially with brookes win monica and her boyfriend jeez dont even get me started on that boy. First he dated brooke they ended because she chose weed over her and now monica and coltonn are datig. guess im out of the question! anyway i realy shouldnt be complaining about other people boyfriends when i dont have one of my own. i almost did if it wasnt for... no one it was my fault i cant blame anyone but myself so good bye and see you tommorow!:)

Bye

so im getting together with my bestfriend brooke my other bestfriend ditched us for her boyfriend( keep it classy:p) to go to toronto with him and his mom!but tonight me and brooke are gunna have a blast.. we will play video gams on the wii and watch movies and the best part which is a tradition for us is to order chinese food but the parets wont be having any chinese food there just have a million appitizers(LAME!) any way it will be loads of fun and im wearing  plaid chiffon shirt i got for christas and some jeans with my winter jacket and just some grey boats from payless or something:)

Bye:)

So i chose to make a blog because writing in journals is alot of work and i like usuing a computer to express the way i feel. ill try to write what happend every day in here. I wrote for my catch phrase "Happiness is a choice and i Choose it" because i just started highschool about two or three months ago and its hard adjusting and i lost a lot of (fake) friends and i was sad about it for the longest time but now, now im choosing to be happy and make good choices with who i surround my self with:) the people that understand me and make me hapy an dtreat me right:)

Thanks,

Jamie Mercer